Wedding Plan Secrets » Etiquette

Who Should I Invite To My Wedding?

Jane Martin — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 20:25:06 +0000

Choosing who to invite to your wedding is no easy task. Some couples find they don’t have enough money budgeted to invite everyone on their list. This leaves room for people to become offended and this can cause serious rifts in relationships, even amongst close relatives. Then there’s the issue of whether or not to invite co-workers, certain friends who may just be acquaintances, or maybe you’re stuck with the dilemma of whether or not to invite your boss even though you’d really rather not. Would the latter cause tension at work?

Don’t worry. This doesn’t have to be as stressful as it looks. The first thing you should do when trying to decide who to invite to your wedding is write down everyone you can think of who you may consider inviting. Then, put them in order of importance.

It may seem cruel to grade some people in your life as more important than others. However, when it comes to your budget, this is very necessary. It’s not as hard as you think. Your parents, for instance, will likely come before your co-workers. And your sister or brother will probably come before your best friend. When you’ve created your list, decide how much it’s going to cost for each head. You’re going to be feeding and entertaining these people. That takes money. Once you have a figure in mind, divide it amongst all the people on your list and you’ll soon see whether or not you have to cut anyone.

When it comes to cutting, start at the bottom of the list and move your way up. If you’re worried about offending those people, just tell them the truth; you didn’t have that big of a budget or that you just wanted a small wedding. They never have to know. You can also perhaps just invite these people to any evening celebrations, and just have close family to the ceremony and wedding breakfast.

When it comes to invitations, etiquette says that you should invite everyone in your family and your friends. You don’t need to invite co-workers if you don’t want to, and you certainly don’t have to invite your acquaintances if you don’t want to. Most people will understand wanting a small ceremony or even budget problems, as most of them have probably faced the same dilemma themselves.

Children

One other hurdle you’ll likely face is whether or not to allow children to be present at your wedding. Children can become unruly and can quickly interrupt one of the most important days of your life. However, you may end up offending parents who may think you’re assuming their kid will be unruly. On the other side they can also bring light and life to the proceedings, making it a real family affair. The basic rule with this is to remain consistent. Don’t allow one person to bring their child if their child is normally docile and then not allow another person to bring theirs. Make one rule and stick to it. On the other hand, kids make great flower girls and ring bearers.

These are just a few ideas to keep in mind when deciding on who to invite to your wedding; a task that doesn’t have to be as hard as it seems.

How to Keep Children Entertained At Your Wedding

Terrific Speeches For Best Men

Jane Martin — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:36:58 +0000

Perhaps you have found yourself the best man at your friend’s wedding, and that is all great until you remember that you have to deliver the best man speech. Speeches for best men can be difficult and a bit nerve wracking, and you may not be quite sure how you should deliver the speech and what you should say. While you probably want to steer away from a speech that is mushy, you should also make sure that your speech is appropriate for the time and setting as well. The following are some tips that will help you with speeches for best men, and if you follow them you should be a success.

Tip 1 – Channel the Soft Side – While it may be hard for men to tap into their soft side, you may just want to try when you are trying to give speeches for best men. Make sure that you take the time to give your congratulations to the bride and groom and wish them well and a happy life together in love. No doubt you will have the attention of everyone with this heartfelt opening to your speech.

Tip 2 - Personalize – You do not want your speech to sound like it could be given for anyone, so come up with something personal to add to the speech. If you have a great memory about the bride or groom, or how they met, you may want to add this in here as long as it is appropriate for their wedding. Show how great this couple is together and how they are going to make a wonderful couple.

Tip 3 – Keep it Appropriate – Remember, this is a wedding, not a meeting of old college friends, and you will want to keep speeches for best man appropriate for the setting. Now is not the time for bad jokes, off color humor, or the stories of your younger and wilder days. Stick with kind and gracious things in your speech and the bride, groom, and the audience will appreciate it.

Tip 4 - Make Sure You Practice – While it may be tempting to wing speeches for best men, it is very important that you take the time to give your speech some practice before you have to give it at the wedding reception. Rehearsing your speech will help you become more comfortable with it and will help you remember what you want to say. If you are not sure about your speech and how it sounds, ask a few friends that you trust to listen to it before the big day arrives.

Speeches for best men do not have to be a nightmare, but with a little grace and some heartfelt words, you can get through this with flare and style. Keep these tips in mind, and no doubt you will give a speech that will warm the hearts of all in attendance

How Many Speeches Is Too Many?

Jane Martin — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 16:20:03 +0000

When you are planning your wedding there are many details to attend to. You have to coordinate the ceremony, the reception, and all of the details involved. In structuring your even you will want to give some thought to the speeches that you are going to have at your wedding. Traditionally, there are a few speeches given at a wedding, but the current trend is to have more than just the traditional speeches. So how do you accurately plan for speeches at your wedding while still being cognisant of the pace and timing of your event?

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a great place for those individuals who might not usually give a speech to have an opportunity to do so. Traditionally the father of the groom, why typically hosts the rehearsal dinner, opens the event with a speech. Usually in this speech he will welcome the guests and express his happiness regarding the next day’s events. After the father of the groom has finished his speech this is a great time to open the floor to others who may feel as though they would like to say something special to the couple to be. Additionally, this is a fantastic opportunity to allow members of the bridal party beside the honor attendants to say a few words. The key to any of these speeches is that they be heartfelt and personal. Lastly, the special couple may take a moment to thank everyone for attending and for helping to make their special day happen.

The Wedding Reception

At your reception there are a few traditional speeches that you will want to plan on having. Usually it falls to the father of the bride to open up the reception with a few words if he is the one hosting the event. If not then it might be a nice moment for the happy couple to thank everyone for joining them on their special day. From there it is tradition to allow the best man to make a toast. Really, that is all that tradition dictates that you should have at your wedding reception, but in recent years it has become widely expected that in addition to the best man’s toast the maid of honor have a chance to say a few words. The key to all of these speeches is to remind those giving them to keep them short and sweet.

The truth is that there is no real set number of speeches that one has to have at their wedding. What you need to do is remember that even though your wedding is special and personal you still have guests to take into account. You will want to be sure that the flow of the event goes smoothly and they are not stuck listening to endless speeches throughout the night. Instead, place those important speeches during appropriate times, like dinner, and you and your guests will get to enjoy them while still leaving time to celebrate together.

Proper Etiquette for the Wedding Invitation

Jane Martin — Tue, 16 May 2006 22:03:08 +0000

David Chandler takes a look at the important issue of invitation addressing – a most important part of wedding etiquette.

The invitation is the first impression of the type of wedding you have planned. Your invitation may be custom made, sophisticated, eloquent or a do it yourself creation. With all the styles and colors to choose from, it should not be too difficult to find the perfect invitation.

Whether your invitation is traditional or casual, you will need to include a RSVP (response card) and a reception information card. Other items you could put in with the invitation are directions to the church and reception hall. With today’s "blended" families it is increasingly difficult to find the proper wording for the wedding invitation.

Here are some examples of traditional wording for your invitation.

Wording when Hosted by the Brides Family:

Mr. and Mrs. John Snow request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Nadine Ellen To Eugene Everett Banks on Saturday, the 5th of May two thousand and five at two o’clock St. Paul’s Church Bellingham, Washington

Wording when Hosted by the Grooms Family:

Mr. and Mrs. Gilford James Banks request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Ms. Nadine Ellen Snow to their son Eugene Everett Banks on Saturday, the fifth of May two thousand five at two o’clock St. Paul’s Church Bellingham, Washington

Wording when Hosted by the Bride and Groom:

Ms. Nadine Ellen Snow and Mr. Eugene Everett Banks request the honor of your presence at their marriage on Saturday, the fifth of May two thousand five at two o’clock St. Paul’s Church Bellingham, Washington David runs the following websites that might also be helpful to help you design your wedding invitation. For more information, visit these sites: http://www.WeddingInvitationsInfo.com and http://www.WeddingPlanningInfoCenter.com

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Italian Wedding Traditions

Jane Martin — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:45:08 +0000

On the day of the wedding, the bride is not supposed to wear any gold, until after her wedding ring is slipped out. Wearing gold during or before the wedding is thought to bring bad luck.

Old Church traditions forbade marriage during Lent and Advent. Marriage was also avoided in the months of May and August. May was to be reserved for the veneration of the Virgin Mary, and August was thought to invite bad luck and sickness.

Sunday marriages (with the exception of the months mentioned above) are believed to be luckiest. In the Veneto region of Italy, the groom walks to the bride’s house and, together, he walks with the bride and the whole wedding party to church. On the way, town residents would watch the group walk by and present the bride with many challenges. For example, they put a broom on the ground and if she bride noticed it and picked it up to put it away she was considered a good housekeeper. Then, she might come across a crying child, the couple is supposed to quiet him and make him smile; this would mean that they will be good parents. Coming across a beggar, means giving generously and is equaled to having a good heart.

The bride arrives to the wedding mass last. In the meantime, the groom waits in front of the church as his best men tease him about the bride, “Did you tell her that you’re getting married today?” and “I don’t think she’ll come”! Her lateness, depending on the number of minutes, would have a different meaning to the groom.

In Northern Italy, the groom brings the bouquet of flowers to the wedding. In fact the color and style of the bouquet is supposed to be a surprise to the bride. This signifies a present from the grooms.

The Reception The best man greets everyone coming to the reception with a tray of liquor. Sweet liquors are served to the women and strong drinks served to the men before any food. The purpose of this is to give everyone an opportunity to toast the bride and groom. A common toast would be “Per cent’anni” (for a hundred years).

All the men at the reception kiss the bride for good luck — and to make the groom jealous. The bride carried a satin bag (la borsa) in which guests placed envelopes containing money. The money helped toward the expenses of the wedding which was financed by the bride’s family. During the reception, this purse was usually guarded by the bride’s grandmother (nonna) or mother (the holder of the bag can vary).In some weddings the bride hangs on to the satin bag and all the men who dance with the bride put money in the sack. At some weddings, primarily in Northern Italy, the best man would cuts the groom’s tie into little pieces. The pieces are then put onto a tray and sold to the guests. The proceeds are given to the couple to help pay for the band. It’s a good idea for the groom to bring a cheap tie in anticipation of this custom. Italian weddings have always emphasized food. Strongly linked with family life, food is the focal point of the festivities. The elaborate wedding of the bride and groom brings together the friends and relatives of both families in a celebration of their new relationship.

In ancient Rome, a loaf of wheat bread was broken over the heads of the bride and grooms to ensure a fertile and fulfilling life. Guests would eat the crumbs for good luck.

A multi-course dinner follows often as many as 14 different courses (sometimes even more)!

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Proper Etiquette for the Wedding Invitation